Groff Adoption

Follow our new blog

2009-01-26T15:57:00.001-08:00

I have decided to retire our adoption blog in favor of a blog documenting our life as a blended family. Thank you for following the Groff Adoption story.

Join us for our new journey at http://groffhappenings.blogspot.com

Baptism

2009-01-22T07:11:00.000-08:00

We got Pearl baptised on Sunday. She was quiet until the water went on her forehead. Otherwise it was a great day to spend with family and friends.

Partaaaaaay!

2009-01-17T21:21:00.000-08:00

Well, we had a great first birthday and welcome home celebration. About 100 people showed up. It was great to have everyone meet Pearl. She was in a great mood even though she was passed around quite a lot! Even without a nap, Pearl's calm demeanor shined through. Thank you everyone for joining our celebration.

Happy Birthday Pearl!

2009-01-13T15:54:00.000-08:00

Pearl is one today. On the agenda is cupcakes after dinner. Carli picked the "honking" candle. Once Pearl got the hang of it, she clearly liked her cupcake! The big celebration is this Saturday when approximately 150 people will celebrate Pearl's birthday and arrival!

More pictures

2009-01-13T07:50:00.000-08:00

It is amazing how quickly Pearl has learned English. It has only been one month and she understands "no" and when someone says bye she waves. Also, if I say let's go, she will walk to the door. And, if someone says "yeah Pearl" she will clap.

New pics

2009-01-11T16:48:00.000-08:00

Pearl is very curious and loves to investigate. Except for nap and bedtime, she really is a very happy kid. Naptime has not improved even though we have tried music, white noise and the Ferber method. I even have moved to one nap a day. To no avail, she spends the entire time screaming. The one good thing is that she is sooo tired by the end of the day, going to bed only includes about 5 minutes of screaming!

Pearl turns one on Tuesday and I will post some birthday pictures.

More pictures

2009-01-06T09:29:00.001-08:00

Pearl is definitely an eater! She will eat anything you put in front of her. Sleep continues to elude us, though. Last night we tried having classical music on in her room. It didn't seem to bother her so maybe that is the "white noise" she needs. We are going to keep trying different things until we find the magic potion!

New pictures

2009-01-02T08:44:00.000-08:00

Test results

2008-12-31T17:25:00.000-08:00

We went to the doctor today to get Pearl's test results. Everything came back negative: TB, Hepatitis B and C, lead and blood count. Pearl is as healthy as could be.

Tonight, Carli has decided we are having a family game night for New Year's eve. My invitation told me to arrive at 7:12 p.m. It should be a wild and crazy night.

Happy New Year!

Doctor visit

2008-12-30T06:31:00.000-08:00

We had our wellness checkup today and fun it was not! Pearl had two shots, a TB test (another needle), blood drawn (yes, another needle) and a urine sample (don't even ask how that is done on an infant!) Fortunately, she recovered quickly. Tomorrow she goes back to "read" the TB test and give a stool sample to check for parasites.

She weighs 17 lbs. 3 oz., her height is 27 1/2 inches and her head is 17 1/2 inches. She is on the 5th percentile for both height and weight. She loves to eat so I am sure we can improve those numbers.

Other than that, Pearl seems to be getting used to her surroundings a little better. But naps and bedtime still are big challenges. She likes the kids' club at the gym and Carli carts her around like the proud big sister.

Amazing things about Vietnam

2008-12-28T19:05:00.000-08:00

I saw and experienced some amazing things in Vietnam that I want to share.

1. The people are amazingly friendly. People would constantly stop us on the street and say hello and smile. One day we stopped in an adidas store. The staff immediately came to us. Carli gave the one salesgirl a kiss on the cheek. After that they shared a snack they were having (yes on the sales floor) of an apple-type fruit dipped in a chili and salt combination. It was an interesting mix of flavors. As we left, they gave us the rest of the fruit to take with us. In the restaurants, they would take Pearl immediately and amuse her while we ate.

2. The street food was very interesting and usually smelled good, although I was never brave enough to try anything. The one thing that I will never forget is seeing cooked whole dog at a food stand. Basically it was a whole dog with no hair and charred brown. Even the tail was still there!

3. It is a scooter nation. There are scooters and motorcycles everywhere. It is amazing what they are able to carry on their scooters, too.

4. The noise is overwhelming. Our streets are so quiet in comparison. The drivers honk constantly. The rules of the road are that there are no rules! Chaos reigns.

5. It is dirty and dusty. HaNoi is a crowded, busy city and cleanliness is not a top priority (or their tolerance of dirt is more than mine). But you adjust and make do.

6. Life is lived on the streets. Everyone is on display and lives on the sidewalks. Street cafes consist of a small plastic table and tiny plastic stools for seats and waala...a business is born. People are hunched everywhere. Storefronts are part of people's homes and you can see them eating dinner and watching TV while "minding" the store. Women would walk miles everyday with the goods the had to sell hanging from baskets balanced on their shoulders.

7. Highlands Coffee was the best. Not only was it the best but the staff was friendly and attentive. After our first visit, they remembered us and once when I visited without Eric and the kids, the staff immediately wanted to know where they were. The strong Vietnamese coffee was good too!

8. People work hard. Not only do they work six days a week, but without our modern conveniences, the work is just plain more difficult.

9. 10 minutes outside of the city and you are in rice paddies. It is green, mountainous and beautiful. It appears to be a pretty simple life outside the city.

HaNoi is an amazing place. It is all I expected and more. I cannot wait to return and see more of the country to the south. But it is good to be home for now.

Sisters in matching PJ's

2008-12-28T19:02:00.000-08:00

Doctor visit

2008-12-27T11:26:00.001-08:00

The doctor visit yesterday went well. He removed a ton of wax from Pearl's ears. But otherwise Pearl is a very healthy little girl. He thinks the constant crying is die to jetlag and just her trying to deal with the major changes in her life. I thought the two weeks in HaNoi were our transition time but apparently not. I saw a friend at the grocery store last night (that has two adoptive kids) and she said what we are going through is very common. It will just take time for Pearl to adjust to her new surroundings, sights and smells. It makes sense but is soooo hard!

Home and transitioning

2008-12-26T11:30:00.000-08:00

Well we made it home and finally got our luggage two days later. The time change is a killer and after being up all night, the entire family slept until 11:45 a.m. When I asked Carli to look at the clock and tell me what it said, she told me "one-one-dot-dot-four-five." I asked her to repeat it because I couldn't believe it!

Pearl was up again all last night and has been rather inconsolable so we are taking her to the doctor this afternoon. She is a different baby from when we were in Vietnam so something must be up. It will be an adventure to have Pearl in the car and in a carseat since no car seats or seat belts are used in Vietnam.

I hope everyone got what they wished for yesterday for Christmas.

I'd be lying...

2008-12-24T14:55:00.001-08:00

...if I said the flight home has been fun!

First of all, we got stuck in a major traffic jam in HaNoi and stood still for over 30 minutes. I haven't posted about the traffic and driving habits of HaNoi so I will let you know now. There are no lanes and few traffic lights. And even if there are traffic lights, the Vietnamese don't follow the traffic lights. They easily run through red lights. They will not stop for pedestrians (not even children). It is crazy how chaotic the streets are and how few accidents we saw(actually only one). They honk like crazy and drive with wild abandon. It is a crazy meeting of scooters, cars and bicycles through very narrow streets.

The HaNoi airport basically followed this same premise also...no order, no lanes and total chaos. Once we got on our Hong Kong flight, Pearl decided there was no way she was going to sleep. She proceeded to throw up all over Eric. He took it all in stride. Pearl finally went down for a little bit and we all caught about a half hour of sleep on the 15 hour flight.

We are now in San Francisco. Our flight is delayed but even so, it would be great to get to Portland. We will then figure out how we will get from the airport to our house. We don't have a car seat because we were going to have family pick us up but with the crazy snow, they can't get to the airport.

That's all for now. I plan on posting more about my observations of Vietnam later.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Last night in HaNoi

2008-12-23T05:59:00.001-08:00

We spent our last night in HaNoi visiting with the friendly people that made our stay more enjoyable. We said good-bye to the staff at Highlands Coffee and in particular, Quy. We also stopped at Restaurant Kiti. We ate there a lot because the food and prices were good and the service and staff were excellent. They gave Carli and Pearl a stuffed dog as a going away present. We then did a little shopping to thank those that helped us while we were away.

The visa was delivered. We are in the midst of packing and wondering how we accumulated so much stuff when one entire suitcase was donations when we arrived to HaNoi. See everyone soon!

Our mission is complete!

2008-12-23T00:07:00.000-08:00

Well, we had our embassy visit today and it lasted about 30 seconds. We waited for about 20 minutes and then got the call to the window. They asked us if our application was true to the best of our knowledge. We said "yes" and then we were told that the visa would be ready at 4:30 p.m. today.

I immediately had tears of relief. I could not believe it was true. Carli immediately grabbed Pearl and told her that she was ours forever. The whole affair put Pearl to sleep. She did not realize how monumental the occassion really was.

So we leave tomorrow. I think the biggest challenge might be getting to Portland from San Francisco due to the snow and crazy weather.

Required Medical Visit

2008-12-21T20:15:00.001-08:00

We had our medical visit today. Overall Pearl is a healthy 17 pounds. She has a little cold and fever, though, so the doctor prescribed some antibiotics. We had a long wait but Pearl caught everyone's attention. Tomorrow we go to the embassy for our interview and visa. We changed our tickets and will be leaving on the 24th.

Hoa Lo Prison

2008-12-21T01:51:00.000-08:00

Today we went to Hoa Lo Prison. It opened in 1896 and was built over a craft village. It was a place where thousands of patriots and revolutionaries were imprisoned and tortured. It's claim to fame is that it was where John McCain was imprisioned during the VietNam war.

We went to lunch at a place for the second time called quan an ngan. It is an open air restaurant with food stalls surrounding it. The food is good, relatively cheap and I tried a few things that sounded interesting an ended up being quite tasty. We met some people from Tokyo. Again we got lots of smiles and Pearl got lots of kisses from the locals.

We then came back to our hotel and gave the girls a bath. We all took naps since Pearl has been keeping us up at night and we were pretty tired.

Other musings...

2008-12-20T06:04:00.000-08:00

I had read about a restaurant that I was really excited to try. We took a taxi to the address and low and behold the restaurant was nowhere to be found. Eating is a bit tricky since I don't eat meat so we wandered around and settled on a Vietnamese restaurant that looked nice but was mediocre as far as the food. Carli took the pictures of the Christmas decorations at the restaurant. As usual, Carli made friends. This time it was an Australian couple. Carli told them all about the adoption struggles, played staring contests and jump on one leg contests. The woman, Tanya, proceeded to show Carli her stomach tricks. I am sure the waiter thought we were nuts.

I love traveling oversees because you are able to meet people from all over the world. It makes the world feel like a much smaller place.

On our walk back, there was a large group "exercise" session going on at the lake. Carli decided to join in. She got lots of laughs. The picture is pretty dark so you might not be able to see her in action!

Temple of Literature and other wanderings

2008-12-19T23:48:00.000-08:00

Today we took a wrong turn and went through the bowels of HaNoi. I think we saw true HaNoi life and people were shocked to see Westerners wander their streets. As always, though, we got lots of smiles and "Xin chaos" (hello). By the time we got where we wanted to go, we decided to have lunch first. We ate at KOTO. It is a not-for-profit restaurant and training program that changes the lives of street and disadvantaged youth in Vietnam. Trainees go through a two year program studying the hospitality business. Graduates gain employment once they are done and KOTO has a 100% success rate. Check it out at http://www.koto.com.au/.

While at lunch we met a couple that was from Michigan. They were in the process to adopt from Vietnam but did not make the cutoff so they are now adopting from Ethopia. We wish them the best.

Finally we visited the Temple of Literature. It is a well-preserved example of Vietnamese architecture and is considered the most important historic site in the Dong Da District. In 1076 it became the site of Vietnam's first university.

As usual, Carli made lots of friends and was asked to take pictures with them.

Our feet are sore but it was another great day. We were able to change our tickets and will now leave on December 24th. It will great to be home although this has been a fantastic trip.

More pictures

2008-12-19T00:31:00.000-08:00

I am posting more pictures of Pearl today. I got chastised for not posting any pictures of Pearl yesterday! We got Pearl's Vietnamese passport today. Monday morning we have the medical appointment and then Tuesday we meet with the U.S. Embassy. If all goes well, we could leave a day early.

Carli and I have played a lot of Uno while Pearl takes her naps.I have been curious what the Vietnamese people think when they see a Western family with a Vietnamese baby. So Eric asked our agency liason and she said they are very happy that the baby has a family. They realize that a child in an orphanage would have a very difficult life.

French Quarter

2008-12-17T23:34:00.000-08:00

Opera House

Today we walked around the French Quarter. We didn't like it as much as the West Lake area that we visited yesterday. We will pick up Pearl's Vietnamese passport tomorrow and then have her medical exam on Monday. The medical exam is a requirement for her American Visa.

Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum and the West Lake

2008-12-16T22:05:00.000-08:00

The Presidential Palace

The Mausoleum

Today we ventured to the West Lake area where the Ho Chi Minh area is in the Ba Dinh District. Apparently Uncle Ho, as he is referred to, was quite popular. The Mausoleum was huge and the Presidential Palace was very tranquil with a bontanical garden in the same area.

This overall area was quite nice with large sidewalks and French style buildings. Most noticeably was the lack of continuous honking of the cars and scooters!

We also stopped for a leisurely coffee and lunch. The restaurant served items from beef to porcupine. The porcupine was alive in a cage waiting for someone to order him for lunch. I stuck with the tofu.

People often stop us and kiss both Carli and Pearl.

Pearl is walking!

2008-12-16T02:12:00.000-08:00

Pearl decided this is the day to become mobile. She is moving around like crazy...and loving every minute of it. We had another low key day just hanging out.

More pictures

2008-12-15T17:26:00.001-08:00

Thanks everyone for your emails. It has been an amazing experience. We are just hanging out since our next appointment is not until Friday. We would like to head to the south but logistically we haven't figured it out yet--it is quite a trek and the roads aren't stellar. We still hope to come home on the 25th.

HaNoi

2008-12-15T01:31:00.000-08:00

HaNoi is an explosion of sights, sounds and smells. It is overwhelming at times and walking down the streets takes great effort. Life is lived on the streets. Everything is done on the streets. And I mean everything. It is amazing what is done. Women set up little fry pans and cook an assortment of items. Food is eaten crouched down on the streets. Haircut stands are there for an instant trim. Crossing the street to an array of bikes, motorbikes, cyclos and cars honk constantly. Women walk the streets with an array of goods to sell--all balanced on their shoulders. HaNoi is almost too amazing to describe in words. It is quite an experience.

Another sleepless night...

2008-12-14T17:31:00.000-08:00

Pearl's personality seems to be coming out. I think she is more comfortable with us and we are learning her needs. She is cooing alot, trying to stand up and smiling. We haven't mastered the sleep "thing" yet but since we will need to redo the schedule once we are in our time zone again, I am not trying to push the issue.

It is absolutely amazing how quickly attachment happens. Pearl always wants to be with me and if someone is holding her she looks around to find me. Many people on the Junk boat noted that they couldn't believe she had only been with us three days because she is already so "sticky". I thought that was a good way to describe it.

HaLong Bay trip

2008-12-14T17:21:00.001-08:00

We took a two day trip to HaLong Bay. It is 3,000 islands of dolomite and limestone. It was absolutely gorgeous. The Chinese Junk Boat trip was an adventure, though. We also visited some amazing caves.

I had read that Asians will pay special attention to Western-looking children. This has been true and even a bit crazy. As we were visiting the caves, we were swarmed by a Chinese tourist group. They insisted that all of them take a picture with us. They wouldn't let us leave. It was like being famous---craziness and cameras flashing everywhere!

A little reunion

2008-12-14T17:15:00.000-08:00

On Sunday night we had a little reunion with other adoptive families at a local coffee shop. It was great to see all the babies doing so well.

Update

2008-12-12T01:33:00.001-08:00

Today we got to know Pearl a little better. Eric also went and applied for Pearl's Vietnamese passport. It will take 5-8 days to get. Also we had our Giving and Receiving ceremony this aftermoon. This is the official giving of the baby as far at the Vietnamese government is concerned. She is officially ours!

We have nothing paperwork-wise until next Friday so we are going to venture out of Hanoi. We will go to Halong Bay with Julie tomorrow for an overnight boat trip.

More pictures

2008-12-11T03:31:00.000-08:00

More pictures and orphanage visit

2008-12-11T03:22:00.000-08:00

Pearl's nannies. The woman in the middle was her main caretaker since Pearl was two days old.

The orphanage building

We had a great day today. Lots of walking around and finally at 3 p.m. we drove out to the orphanage. We spent an hour there visiting with the nannies, seeing the other babies and walking around with Pearl so that she would be used to us. She cried a bit. We then met with the director. He wished us much happiness and thanked us for taking care of her. He asked that we come back and visit when Pearl is older.

When we got back to the hotel, we gave her a bath. She seemed to like it. We have also discovered that she likes soccer on tv (or at least Eric seems to think so). Right now she is on Carli's lap holding a book and "talking". She seems pretty content.

Taking charge

2008-12-10T18:00:00.000-08:00

Well, we have not heard from our agency about when we would be going to the orphanage. Despite emails and phone calls we heard nothing. So I decided to call a different person and she acted suprised we were here. I told her we wanted to go to the orphanage to pick up Pearl. She said okay, we will go at 10 a.m. It was 9:40 a.m. By the time we raced back to the hotel, she called again and said 2:30 today instead. So we have a little more time to collect ourselves, but we will be picking up Pearl today.

I will hopefully post more after our orphanage visit.

More pictures of Hanoi

2008-12-09T23:56:00.001-08:00

The roads are crazy but the people are nice.

We are in Hanoi!

2008-12-09T20:28:00.000-08:00

We made it and it only took about 24 hours. But we are here safe and sound. Our hotel room is nice and Carli took pictures of the view from our room. I think we will take showers and then venture out for our first Vietnamese meal.

We're in Hong Kong

2008-12-09T16:06:00.000-08:00

It is not often that you can get on a plane, get served dinner, take an Ambien, sleep, wakeup and still have 7 more hours to fly! What a trek!!!! It was a long 15 hours. Carli was great. We are sitting in Hong Kong right now waiting for our flight to Hanoi. We arrive at 9:45 a.m. local time.

Carli has made friends wherever we are and a little Chinese girl sat on Carli's lap while we were waiting for our flight in SFO.

I am still in disbelief that I am trekking across the world to pick up Pearl.

New pictures

2008-12-08T07:39:00.000-08:00

My friend Julie was at the orphanage today picking up Claire and sent some new pictures of Pearl. She is standing up (maybe even walking)....crazy! She has some wild hair, too. Julie's exact comment was "bring hair accessories!" Thanks Julie for taking the time to take pictures when you were picking up your own daughter.

Happy trails

2008-12-07T09:03:00.001-08:00

I am happy to report that Mickey has survived his drama.

We are in the final countdown. We ran a lot of errands yesterday and now just need to pack. Carli will go to school tomorrow and then we will pick her up and leave.

I heard from my friend Julie who left for Vietnam on Friday. She made it and soon will be trekking over to the same orphanage to pick up her daughter Claire. Carli calls Claire and Pearl orphanage sisters since they have been together since birth.

Thank you to everyone for all your messages of support and help. Special thanks to Dana for taking on a big task for me!!!!

When it rains, it pours

2008-12-05T07:54:00.000-08:00

So in the heated frenzy of trying to get ready, our cat Mickey decides to eat a ribbon off a balloon. All day yesterday, he had a piece of the ribbon sticking out his back end... The last thing we need is a vet visit but this morning we dropped him off. The vet will call us later and let us know the prognosis. I really hope there is no surgery involved!

On a happier note, we received our entry visas yesterday!

Final countdown...

2008-12-03T16:11:00.000-08:00

Everyday I try to get something on the list completed...today we received our tickets and I made our hotel reservations. We are staying at the Lucky2. I have heard the staff is excellent. I am waiting for our entry visas to arrive from San Francisco. It seems that I cross one item off my list and then add two more things.

I've also scheduled Pearl's doctor visit when we arrive home. And I've secured a location for the big homecoming/birthday bash.

I want to have as much done as possible, so that we have lots of time to just enjoy being a family when we get home.

Update

2008-11-26T13:13:00.000-08:00

We will be traveling sometime between December 10th and 12th and picking up Pearl on December 15th. I sent off our entry visas today and we have one more form to complete and get notarized. And of course, need to figure out those airline tickets.

I have been a bit frenzied needless to say...I've lost a few things, forgotten even more and can't sleep. It is all just too exciting (and a little scary)!

Pearl will turn one on January 13th.

I have planned a party for Pearl's arrival--January 17th. We will get her baptised January 18th.

More details

2008-11-21T08:18:00.001-08:00

We could be traveling as soon as December 5th and have our Giving and Receiving Ceremony on December 8th. My head is spinning!!!!

We will be there two weeks.

I will keep everyone posted as I learn more.

Thank you all for your offers of help and support.

The Best Gift Lyrics

2008-11-21T08:07:00.000-08:00

The best giftThat I ever got
Didn’t really weigh a lot
It didn’t have a ribbon ’round
And it sometimes made a terrible sound
But best of all it seems to me
It wasn’t neath the christmas tree
And yet, I guess I’d have to say
That it made all the other presents twice as gay
The best gift that I’ve ever known
I’d always wanted most to own
Yet in my dreams of sugar and spice
I never thought it could be so nice
The best gift that I ever get
Was sometimes dry and sometimes wet
Was usually pink but oftentimes red
As it lay so innocently in it’s bed
The best gift of the year to me
The one I hold most dear to me
A gift that simply drove me wild
Was a tiny new born child...

Barbars Streisand

Thanks Dana for sharing!

We got IT!

2008-11-20T19:52:00.000-08:00

We received our preliminary approval tonight via email. There is a laundry list of things we need to do but ultimately we should be leaving for Vietnam in the next few weeks! I am in shock! I cannot believe this day has finally arrived.

Fingerprints approved!

2008-11-05T10:22:00.001-08:00

No surprise here....I knew our fingerprints were good but we must satisfy the bureaucratic beast!

Otherwise no update.

But extremely excited about the general election results. This will be the turning point that our country has needed. I really believe people are going to come together regardless of their differences. Already, the mood and morale feels hopeful. Now waiting to January 20th might be difficult!

Excitement about Halloween

2008-10-27T19:37:00.000-07:00

Big sister Carli is super excited about Halloween. So excited that she decided she wanted to design her own costume. She literally drew it out, determined colors and then we went to the fabric store to buy all the stuff. Pretty creative. Of course, she is hoping the payoff will come in the currency of candy!

Happy Halloween everyone.

One step closer...hopefully

2008-10-27T07:11:00.000-07:00

This morning in my email was this message:

"Dear Mr. & Mrs. Groff,

This is to inform you that this office received your response to our RFE on 10/24/08. It will take 30 days for our office to review these evidences. We will contact you as soon as a determination is made on your case.

Regards,
Adoption Unit
U.S.CIS-Ho Chi Minh City"

So they "got it" and now we wait....

Fingerprint appt. today...again

2008-10-25T07:30:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been 16 months since our last fingerprinting so we have to have them done again...on a beautiful Saturday at 8 a.m.! So we are off to have that done. Hopefully, it brings us one step closer to Pearl.

At least we have a Halloween party this afternoon...partaaaay on!

2008-10-18T17:58:00.001-07:00

RFE Response Done!

2008-10-18T15:35:00.000-07:00

Well, we completed our RFE response today--all 106 pages!!! I am making copies today and then going to the Fedex office. I am mailing the official response to Vietnam and Thailand today. All the cc: versions will go out on Monday. We firmly believe we have not only answered all questions for the USCIS but provided evidence to back it up.

We now hope for a speedy APPROVAL!

Affidavits

2008-10-09T20:31:00.000-07:00

We received our affidavits today. There were a total of 8 documents which includes a search for the birth mother, hospital investigation and orphanage interview. We now need to complete our rebuttal document and overnight it by October 22nd. Eric has started the framework and we have a plan so now we just need to do it!

Again, I cannot say how invaluable the other four RFE families have been! They have been so supportive of each other and I hope we will be able to meet face to face someday soon.

Exciting news...

2008-09-26T07:13:00.001-07:00

Well, one of the first families that got an RFE (Request for Evidence) about a month before us just got their travel approval. This is awesome news. Not only, will that family finally be together, but the rest of us can get ideas from her rebuttal to guide our efforts.

Currently, additional newspaper ads have to be placed asking the birthmothers to come forward. Also, a lawyer has been hired to complete additional affidavits. He will search for the birth parents. visit their supposed addresses and interview the hospital to verify their procedures.

Again, all in the hopes of gaining a clearer pictures of the cultural practices coupled with hospital operations. We must prove that Pearl is indeed an orphan, abandoned by her birthmother. It will be key to demonstate no one has tried to pick her up at the orphanage, which has been the case....

Keep your fingers crossed.

New pictures

2008-09-15T11:01:00.000-07:00

Well, another family is picking up their baby and was kind enough to take pictures of Pearl. She is 8 months now and it pains me to see her growing up so quickly without us.

Senator Wyden's office has contacted us. Also, several other RFE families and us are communicating regularly and sharing ideas and support. We are all very focused on picking up our babies and soon as possible.

Update

2008-09-06T11:17:00.000-07:00

Just to keep you posted...

Senator Smith's office responded to our request. They sent an inquiry to Hanoi. PLAN says there really is nothing the senator's office can do, but considering it is an election year, you just never know what can happen!

Also PLAN's liason and attorney are determining what will satisfy the USCIS requirements.

On another note, Carli started first grade this week and loves it!

Letter to Gordon Smith

2008-08-29T12:09:00.000-07:00

Today Eric sent a message to Gordon Smith. Also our friend Keri passed on our information to Senator Smith's Chief of Staff. We hope we will get some support from Smith or Wyden.

Also, I have been in touch with fellow PLAN members that received RFEs also. Hopefully we can help each other with ideas and support.

We are waiting for further direction from PLAN.

Letter to Senator Wyden

2008-08-26T12:27:00.001-07:00

Eric wrote a letter to Senator Wyden today. We decided we need all the help and influence we can get! Hopefully he will take an interest (and some action) with our case.

New pics of Pearl

2008-08-25T08:45:00.001-07:00

Another family is at the orphanage picking up their daughter and sent some pics of Pearl. She looks so grown up!

Bad news...

2008-08-21T09:38:00.000-07:00

On business day 43 of our wait for travel approval, we received an RFE (Request for Further Evidence). This means the US Embassy is questioning her orphan status. Recently the US has been hyper sensitive to hospital births. Birth mothers go to the hospital to give birth and give a false name and address. When the US goes out to do their investigation, they cannot locate the birth mother to question her...ah guys she gave a fictitious name because she does NOT want to be found. Nonetheless, the saga continues as we must fight to prove she was truly abandoned.

Fun facts about Vietnam

2008-08-16T08:22:00.000-07:00

Here is some fun information about Vietnam:

1. Vietnamese national flower is Lotus flower.
2. Most common family name in Vietnam is NGUYEN (about 60% of population).
3. Biggest influence religion in Vietnam is Feudalism.
4. Vietnamese eat rice more than any country in the world.
5. Vietnam is #1 country in rice - export and second in coffee after Brazil ( 2007 ).
6. The biggest sport in Vietnam is football ( soccer ).
7. Vietnamese people often say "Where are you going?" instead of "Hello" when they see each other.

Adapted from www.vietvaluetravel.com

The beauty of adoption

2008-08-06T09:09:00.000-07:00

My brother-in-law (Eric's brother) was adopted into the Groff family when he was eight years old from Korea. There has never been a distinction of a birth child versus adopted child in the Groff family.

Marty spent several years looking for his birth family and three years ago found them. He returned to Korea several times and this week his birth mother and extended family came to Portland. All eight of them!

Last night we met as one big family and it was awesome. It was the ideal adoption situation. Two families came together with happiness, joy and appreciation. The warmth and love that surrounded the room was surreal. I cannot imagine a better scenario than having two moms and the answers an adoptee must want. I can only hope Pearl is as lucky.

It's like Christmas...

2008-07-27T12:32:00.001-07:00

Another couple are in the orphanage and sent some pictures...so here are some new ones of Pearl.

New pics of Pearl!!!

2008-07-12T15:27:00.000-07:00

Hi all. A woman was at the orphanage today picking up her son and she sent me these pictures of Pearl. She is huge!!! Obviously appetite is not an issue. She is 6 months old.

Recent pictures of Pearl

2008-06-10T16:27:00.001-07:00

Someone from Plan recently visited the orphanage where Pearl is located...check out the weight gain!

More paperwork

2008-05-07T16:33:00.001-07:00

Well, we finished another round of paperwork (I600) and had it notorized on Saturday. Our social worker is visiting on Tuesday for a post-assignment visit. Not sure what the purpose is, but we will soon find out!

We got our referral!

2008-04-25T14:17:00.000-07:00

Introducing Pearl Madonna Groff born on 1/13/08!!!

Update...

2008-03-19T11:19:00.000-07:00

The DIA has put out the official word that they will no longer accept dossiers after May 1st. This date should not effect us but it does give the clear message that adoptions will not continue to USA adoptive parents, at least until things are settled on the new agreement. It has also been said “ there is little to NO” chance of an agreement before September” which is when the old agreement expires. What a political mess! The US is putting a lot of pressure on Vietnam to become a Hague country and it sounds like they are going to use that as a sticking point. If a new agreement is not reached by September or if they release the official word that it is not going to happen, then I would expect them to define who will be grandfathered into the process. This will be in the State Department's control.

I am certainly hope our referral will come in and we can finish the process with out any interference from the current negotiations.

Recent article about Vietnam and the slow down...

2008-01-17T11:48:00.000-08:00

Associated Press, Jan 6, 2008)Lynn DeHart never planned to live in Vietnam — until the U.S.government said she couldn't bring her newly adopted grandson home.Now, she's been stuck in a Vietnamese hotel for three months, tryingto get a U.S. visa for 18-month-old Alexander. "Good heavens, no, Ican't leave without him," she said. "I couldn't live with myself. Dothey really think I would return him to an orphanage?"

Renewed U.S. concern about possible baby selling, fraud andcorruption — the same fears that led to the suspension of Vietnameseadoptions from 2003 to 2005 — are holding up visas for some babiesadopted in Vietnam. Roughly 20 American families are affected,according to Vietnamese adoption officials.

"We have conveyed our concerns to the government of Vietnam, and theyare assisting us in our investigations, " said U.S. Ambassador MichaelMichalak. "We're trying to fix the system. It's going to take time.And it's a painful situation all around."

Nguyen Cong Khanh, deputy director of Vietnam's internationaladoption agency, agreed that the system needs to be improved. Toomany American adoption agencies have been licensed in Vietnam, andthe demand for babies is greater than the supply, he said.

Vietnamese law requires that foreign adoption agencies makehumanitarian contributions to orphanages. These orphanages oftendon't disclose what they receive or how they use it, Khanh said. "Theagencies mostly pay in cash, and it is hard to ensure that the moneyis used transparently and correctly," Khanh said. "This may havecreated fertile ground for corruption."

Families like the DeHarts, who adopted babies in line with Vietnameselaw, are left with two choices: returning their babies to theorphanage, or appealing the U.S. visa decision, a time-consuming andcostly process with no guarantee of success.

David and Julie DeHart adopted Alexander last September and expectedto take him home three weeks later. Then, U.S. immigration officialssaid they intended to turn down their visa request.

David, a family physician, had to get back to work in the UnitedStates. But his mother, Lynn, was willing to stay in Vietnam with hergrandson while the family appealed. She never expected to be herethis long. "It is an amazing voyage that I'm on," she said.

She has had to learn how to cross Hanoi streets, wading through a seaof motorbikes and scooters that rarely slow for pedestrians, not evenfor 64-year-old grandmothers pushing baby strollers. "They go throughred lights and drive on the sidewalk!" she said. "I just put up myhand and say, 'Don't hit me!'"

Every morning, she and Xander, as the boy is nicknamed, call hisparents and 4-year-old brother Spencer in the U.S. Midwestern stateof Wisconsin using Skype, watching each other with webcams on thefree Internet service.

U.S. Embassy officials sympathize with families in the DeHarts'situation, but say they have a legal responsibility to investigateadoptions thoroughly. U.S. law requires that an adopted child be agenuine orphan, or be given up knowingly for adoption by his birthparents.

Because of the recent problems, immigration officials have begunconducting visa investigations before parents arrive to pick up thechild. "I wish they had been doing that all along," David DeHartsaid. "Unfortunately, there's a group of us who are now stuck inlimbo.

"Some have quit their jobs to stay in Vietnam with their babies,living off their savings while they appeal. "My entire livelihood isat stake," said Monica DiGioacchino, 39, who has taken leave from herjob to pursue a visa for her adopted 7-month-old son Patrick."

It is absolutely anguishing," said DiGioacchino, a technical writerfrom Alameda, California, who shares a Hanoi apartment with a friendin the same situation. "We are first-time parents, and we are awayfrom our support system."

Vietnam has become a popular place to adopt because the wait forbabies is generally shorter than in other countries. Also, singleparents are eligible to adopt here and, unlike neighboring China,Vietnam allows babies to be adopted before they turn 1 year old.

Twelve countries have adoption agreements with Vietnam, but Americansadopted more babies in 2007 than all the others combined, accordingto Vietnamese officials. Last year, 826 American families adoptedbabies in Vietnam, including Hollywood star Angelina Jolie. In 2002,the last full year of adoptions before the suspension, Americansadopted 766 babies.

Among the other nations with adoption agreements are Canada andseveral European nations, including France, Germany, Denmark, Italy,Sweden and Ireland. So far, only the United States has raised publicconcerns about adoptions in Vietnam.

Before adoptions resumed, Vietnam agreed to set up a centralauthority to regulate adoptions in the country's 64 cities andprovinces. But U.S. officials say that individual provinces havecontinued to set their own rules and adoption fees, increasingopportunities for corruption.

With more than 40 U.S. adoption agencies operating in Vietnam, thecompetition for babies is intense. An adoption can cost more thanUS$20,000, not including travel costs.

While many agencies follow the rules, U.S. officials believe some donot. According to the embassy Web site, some Vietnamese parents havebeen offered cash for their babies, and some infants have been put upfor adoption without their parents' knowledge.

The embassy statement also describes a suspicious surge in reports ofabandoned babies after U.S. adoptions resumed, especially in therural provinces of Thai Nguyen and Phu Tho, where the DeHarts adoptedXander.

Many of the abandonments appear to have been staged, said a U.S.Embassy official who declined to give his name, citing embassyrules. "They probably know where the child came from, but they areusing false documents to make it difficult for anyone who is tryingto figure it out," he said.

The concerns about Xander's adoption stem from a date change on hisadoption papers, David DeHart said. The form said the baby had beenfound abandoned in 2007, but apparently someone had changed the yearto 2006.

U.S. Embassy officials will not discuss specific cases, citingprivacy concerns. During September and October, the first two monthsof the 2007 fiscal year, they raised questions about 13 adoptions.All those families are appealing for visas.

The DeHarts say they chose their adoption agency carefully and havecomplete confidence in it. Still, David DeHart said he understandswhy U.S. officials are subjecting adoptions to heightenedscrutiny. "They are concerned about children basically being boughtand sold," he said. "That's something we obviously don't support."

Update

2007-12-18T13:11:00.000-08:00

Got an email from our agency today. Here is what it said....

"As you know the door was shut firmly on Phu Tho adoptions last week. We had 6 families who had been referred a baby lose that referral. It was so sad for everyone but especially those 6 families. In this process of matching we have no idea where the match will come from until we receive the referral. In your case I asked if Judy E could get a status due to the Phu Tho closure. Sure enough you file was located in Phu Tho. You were somewhere in the process…not sure if the match had been made or not. Your file along with several others has been retrieved and redirected. We have been told that the Phu Tho families will be given priority. This means you will not be starting at the end of the line. You may see families receive referrals before you as we will not bump any matched families from the process. We do not know which province your referral will come from but I do know they have redirected your file. I am pretty sure that this is not the news you were hoping for, but maybe you can find some comfort in just knowing what is happening. I do not expect any further updates until we receive news of your referral."

Happy Holidays!

2007-12-18T08:39:00.000-08:00

Happy holidays to everyone out there. We are having a low key holiday this year. Everyone is traveling and we thought we would have a new baby so we opted out. Well, things don't always work out as planned so we still do not have Pearl. So, we are just going to relax. Eric will go to the mountain several times and I will read lots of books and do arts and crafts with Carli. A good time will be had by all.
All the best in 2008!

Still no updates...

2007-11-28T12:52:00.000-08:00

Plan, our adoption agency, had a meeting in Washington DC today to discuss what is going on in Vietnam. Nonetheless, things are very quiet in Vietnam and will continue to be quiet for the near future.

Carli still asks everyday when we are going to pick up her sister....it breaks my heart.

Another delay....

2007-10-24T08:06:00.000-07:00

Hi all, You will be able to read the frustration in this post (just warning you!)

Today we found out that the U.S. Citizenship & Immigration Services (USCIS) and the U.S. Department of State (USDOS) created a new process for the I-600 filing procedures. What this means is another bureaucratic step. Before, the I-600 was completed while you were in Vietnam. Now, it must be completed prior to travel approval. Our agency is saying this could delay the process four months. Can we say UGH!!!!!!!!

No updates yet....

2007-10-03T10:53:00.000-07:00

Just want to let everyone know that we have no news yet. Our friends Deanna and Steve leave tomorrow to go to Vietnam to pick up their new daughter. We wish them lots of fun and excitement! They will be able to share all of their travel secrets with us!

I am working on travel prep. I called Carli's doctor and she is up-to-date on all her shots. I guess that means Eric and I are the "lucky" ones because we are going to need plenty of shots.

Hit the road Jack....uh I mean Eric, Carli and Seniye

2007-09-05T10:26:00.000-07:00

So what do you do while you are waiting patiently for Pearl? Well, you go on vacation of course!

We just returned from a very fun and relaxing vacation in the Wallowas and Sunriver. We missed you Amy and Greg...maybe next year you can join us.

The "real" wait begins...

2007-08-22T11:15:00.000-07:00

So as we wait, it is the perfect time to get Carli ready for kindergarten. I cannot believe her last day in preschool is tomorrow. Here is a picture of her graduating class.

Paperwork is complete!

2007-08-15T16:06:00.000-07:00

Well, it has finally happened...all the paperwork is back and our dossier is off to Vietnam tomorrow!

Things got tied up in San Francisco at the Vietnam Consulate but with a little extra work on PLAN's part, we have what we need.

Next stop...translation in Vietnam.

We got it!

2007-07-25T18:07:00.000-07:00

Well, it took 5 1/2 weeks but the I171-H arrived in the mail today. Now I need to get it notarized, certified and authenticated and our dossier will be complete! I will try to get all of that done by next week since it will need to go down to Salem and then San Francisco for all of that to happen!

Still waiting...

2007-07-09T16:35:00.001-07:00

Still waiting for the I171H. I hear it will take about 8 weeks...ugh!

Wait mode

2007-06-26T08:26:00.000-07:00

All right so we are just waiting for our I171H. Once we receive it, we go through the entire notary, Secretary of State, Vietnam Consulate process once again. Then our dossier will be complete and ready to be sent to Vietnam to be translated. Once it is translated (usually about a week's time) it will be sent to the Department of International Adoption (the new step in the process since March 1st) and we wait for our referral.

Fingerprinting Appointment

2007-06-11T08:21:00.000-07:00

We got notice of our fingerprinting appointment for this Saturday morning. Also, our dossier will go to the Vietnam Consulate in San Francisco this week. Things are moving along but who knew there were so many steps?!

Progress

2007-06-07T16:38:00.000-07:00

Our paperwork is back from the Oregon Secretary of State. It took less than a week! Next stop...San Francisco to the Vietnam Consulate. We are still waiting for our fingerprinting appointment.

The dossier is off!

2007-05-31T12:27:00.000-07:00

Well, I mailed our dossier yesterday. The next milestone is getting our fingerprinting appointment. We should get the appointment in the next several weeks. Basically, it is sit around and wait time - and of course more check writing! :0)

Once the dossier is translated and approved in Vietnam, we will get our referral which will include a picture of our new addition!

Picture included in the dossier (with the house picture)

2007-05-23T13:50:00.000-07:00

2007-05-23T13:48:00.000-07:00

Good news and bad news...

2007-05-23T13:19:00.000-07:00

Good news first....
I have all the paperwork completed on my end (yes, Eric still has a few pieces to go)! I hope to get everything notarized by this Friday!

Bad news...
Time lines seem to have lengthened. On March 1st, Vietnam changed their process so that there is an additional step (aka layer of bureaucracy). This means that we could be looking at 6-9 months of waiting once they have received our dossier. UGH! It was a month previously. Our adoption agency is waiting to see what reality turns out to be but it is definitely not what I wanted to hear!

Making progress

2007-05-22T12:46:00.000-07:00

I feel a little better today. We have completed our application and commitment letters. They now need to be notarized. Also got Eric's medical letter yesterday. I went to the police bureau today at lunch and got the local police clearance letter. Tomorrow I will go and get a certified copy of our marriage certificate. So today, I feel like we are making some progress in the "paper chase".

Plugging away!

2007-05-21T09:14:00.000-07:00

I am trying not to get frustrated by what is referred to as the "paper chase". Last week I sent off the documents to our doctors, contacted the police (no response), got my employment letter (Eric get on it!) and started our application and commitment letters. Our passports are copied and pictures are taken. This week I hope to get our passport pictures taken and complete the rest of the paperwork and get it notarized. We have friends who are adopting and they said they would have their dossier completed by June 1st. I decided that would be a good goal for us too!

Yesterday afternoon Carli and I sorted through baby clothes and washed everything. I then let Carli put the clothes away in the dresser that will be Pearl's. I figure the more I can involve Carli the better and since she is a little mother herself, she actually enjoys it.

Time to begin the dossier

2007-05-14T11:29:00.000-07:00

dos·si·er (dŏs'ē-ā', dô'sē-ā')
n. A collection of papers giving detailed information about a particular person or subject.

Here is a list of documents required for the dossier. Gotta love the paperwork!

 2 HOME STUDIES
Certify and Authenticate ONE

 2 CERTIFIED MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE
Re-certify and Authenticate ONE

 4 APPLICATIONS FOR ADOPTION
Certify all 4-Take one photocopy to VN when you travel

 4 COMMITMENTS
Certify all 4- Take one photocopy to VN when you travel

 4 LETTERS OF EMPLOYMENT (2-Mother & 2-Father)
Certify and Authenticate ONE for each

 4 LOCAL POLICE CLEARANCES (2- Mother & 2-Father)
Certify and Authenticate ONE for each

 4 MEDICAL CERTIFICATES (2-Mother & 2-Father)
Certify and Authenticate ONE for each

 2 POWER OF ATTORNEYS Certify and Authenticate ONE

 2 I-171H (PRE-APPROVAL FROM IMMIGRATION)
Certify and Authenticate ONE

 2 COPIES OF PASSPORT (Mother & Father on one page)
Certify and Authenticate ONE

 4 PASSPORT SIZE PHOTOS (2-Mother & 2-Father)
2 of each for dossier & two of each to travel with.

 2 PICTURES (Front of home, and family picture)

Home Study Interview

2007-05-08T08:02:00.000-07:00

We completed our home study interview last night. It was pretty straightforward. After Carli got warmed up, she basically did all the work for us! She was showing Don around the house and taking him outside to see her car in the backyard.

Don was really pushing for us to consider a boy. Apparently there are lots of boy babies since everyone seems to want girls. I really want a girl and Carli has her heart set on a sister so I think we will stick with our original plan.

Don told us he would have our home study written up by Thursday and then it has to be passed around to several people in the office for review. Once it is complete, it will get sent to the US Homeland Security office so that our I600 can be completed.

Now it is time to put together our dossier.

Home Study Appointment!

2007-04-26T15:03:00.000-07:00

Don, our social worker called today. We have our home study scheduled for Monday, May 7th at 7 p.m. He said it will take a few hours. We also need to provide a blueprint of our home but otherwise he said to not get nervous about the home study.

We're off!

Social Worker Assignment!

2007-04-25T09:48:00.000-07:00

We got our social worker assignment yesterday. This means that our home study can begin. The social worker has 10 days to make an appointment with us and then 30-60 days to complete the home study. Finally, PLAN then has two weeks to approve the home study. Essentially, the entire process could take three months but I really hope it goes faster than that because our I600 cannot be approved until they get a copy of the home study.

Embracing the Vietnamese culture

2007-04-20T08:27:00.000-07:00

I decided we need to get more familiar with the Vietnamese culture before we travel to Vietnam. What better place to start than with the food?! So, last night I took Carli to dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant. She loved the food and couldn't stop eating. The server taught Carli how to make origami birds while we were there. At the end of the meal, Carli says "this food is delicious. Now can I go to Vietnam with you?"

Our plan is to leave her here so that we can focus on the new addition and limit her exposure to some health issues that Vietnam still grapples with such as Hepatitis.

Carli asks daily if today is the day we pick up her sister! There will not be a better big sister than Carli.

2007-04-18T09:46:00.000-07:00

2 great books about Vietnam...

2007-04-18T09:28:00.000-07:00

I have been reading lots about Vietnam and stumbled on two books worth talking about. They are both by Dana Sachs.

"The House on Dream Street" Part memoir and part travelogue, The House on Dream Street offers a compelling glimpse into Vietnam more than 20 years after the war. Author Dana Sachs foregoes the history lesson and instead takes us into the day-to-day lives of working-class people attempting to succeed in a fledgling capitalist economy. Captivated by the once-forbidden country during a visit in 1989, Sachs returned two years later, took a room with a young family, and set out to immerse herself in the culture.

"If You Lived Here" The story begins in Wilmington, N.C., where Xuan Mai has built a successful Asian grocery business in the more than 20 years since she fled Hanoi. Estranged from her family in Vietnam and reluctant to form new connections in America, Mai doesn't know what to make of Shelley Marino, an American customer who asks a lot of questions about Vietnam. It turns out that Shelley is trying to adopt a Vietnamese boy. However, Shelley's husband, Martin, who has two grown sons from a previous marriage, forces Shelley to choose between him and adopting, prompting Shelley to urge Mai to accompany her to Vietnam to complete the adoption. Once there, Mai discovers a land very different from the war-torn, impoverished country she left in the late 1970s. The novel, alternating Shelley's and Mai's narration, comes alive when the setting shifts to Vietnam, revealing the author's love for the rapidly changing country. Mai's reconciliation with her past is absorbing.

2007-04-16T17:37:00.000-07:00

We will be staying in Hanoi and traveling 3 hours north to the orphanage when we travel to Vietnam in early fall. We are required to be there 3 weeks and look forward to doing some sightseeing while we are there.

What we have done so far...

2007-04-16T15:30:00.000-07:00

So the first thing you will find surprising about adopting is the mounds (and I mean mounds) of paperwork. We have received endless binders with reading material and countless documents to get notarized and copied. So far we have completed:

Plan's initial application
Training class
More paperwork including references, background checks, medical checks and various other information
Immigration paperwork called the I600A. This form allows us to adopt a foreign born orphan. Once it is approved, we then get our appointment to get fingerprinted.
Lots of $$

Next comes the home study and then the completion of paperwork for Vietnam, which is called a dossier.

2007-04-16T11:24:00.000-07:00

Welcome to our adoption journey!

2007-04-16T11:12:00.000-07:00

Hi all. We are going to attempt to log our adoption journey. We have chosen to adopt from Vietnam through Plan Loving Adoptions.

We started our adoption journey last spring through the Department of Human Services (DHS). We were told there was a two to six month wait for a special needs child. After completing all the paperwork, training and background checks we learned that the wait could be up to six years. We all know that I am way to urgent to wait six years for a child and so we began our search for another option.

Eric's brother is adopted through Plan from Korea so we felt comfortable using Plan for our adoption journey.